Through the eyes of a child within a split family….

  • Self In Everyday Life:

    •  Divorce rates have drastically increased over time, therefore more children are needing more than the norm.
      • Loving Mother
      • Loving Father
    • The need is much higher for attention, as well as the knowledge of knowing that their life is just as normal as everyone else’s around them. Since everyone longs for the need to be accepted as normal, these children need constant positive reinforcement from both parents as well as outsiders.
    • A child should never feel the pressure of hatred towards anyone, especially the other parent.
    • The NEVERS:
      • Feel the blame of themselves for the occurrences in their lives that are not within their control.
      • Have to deal with adult issues.
      • Wonder why they were brought into the world under such strain of conditions.
      • Why can’t life be normal for them? What is normal?
  • Being Human:

    • As a child grows they take from their surroundings and act upon them.
      • Parents are the dominant role models for their children.
      • Teach them morals and respect.
      • Teach them manners and etiquette.
    • Children need others for their very survival.
      • Food, shelter and protection
      • Emotional support, love and affection
    • Being brought up by positive outlooks on life makes for a happier and successful upbringing. Hence, happy kids!
  • Being Seen as an Outsider:

    • What’s right and what’s wrong?
      •  The child has immense pressure of what’s right and wrong when juggling between two separate households due to the drastic differences in parenting styles.
      • The child is constantly making sure they are not doing wrong in the eyes of either parents.
      • The child is constantly longing for pure happiness.
    • Always feeling stuck in the middle of every situation among parents.
      • Wondering why should they ever have to choose one parent over the other when they clearly love each parent equally.
      • Parents please show your children how to treat people the way you would like to be treated.
      • Also, set a positive example for your children. They learn from what they see.
  • Sense of Self:

    • Looking Glass self:
      • The way we think others look at us.
        •  Constantly viewing themselves as a failure due to the differences among parenting.
        • Children often feel as if they are the problem between the situation. Therefore blaming themselves  for what they believe they have created.
        • Always feeling the need to please.
  • “I” & “Me”:

    • “I”– when your alone.
      • Always wanting the acceptance of others
      • Feeling the need to know everyone loves  or cares for them.
    • “Me”– when your in-front of others.
      • Tend to be extremely shy and quiet
      • Constantly in fear of doing wrong

 

How can we help make these views change to a more positive view?

  • Be positive role models
  • Teach manners & etiquette
  • Teach them right from wrong (remember they are watching-they learn from their surroundings)
  • Never allow your child to know when you are unhappy with the other parent.
  • Never allow your child to deal with adult issues

The house standing is the happy home. While the other two are in the process of sinking, sunk, and soon to be gone! Love and cherish your family always!!!

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